Typist
Fast hands, loud keys. The honest baseline.
Coming Soon
Vampire Survivors for the terminally online. The internet is overrun. Your weapon is a mechanical keyboard.
The premise
You are the internet's last line of defense.
A single-player roguelite auto-shooter. You move, the keyboard auto-fires at the nearest threat, and the discourse comes for you in waves. Reply guys, crypto grifters, doomscrollers, situationships. Level up mid-run, snowball a fragile start into a screen-clearing build, and out-type six escalating bosses to earn the only title that matters.
The world
Ten lands. Every stage of being online.
Each region is a glossy top-down arena built from a phase of internet life. You start in a sunlit social-media park, climb through influencer marinas and airsoft-cosplay ops, and end in The Hustle: a fluorescent grind-culture purgatory of job boards, networking tables, HR-advice kiosks, and a sad little podium under a banner that reads THE DOJO. The enemies are the discourse made flesh, and they do not log off.
Choose your poster
Eight archetypes. One keyboard.
Eight playable poster archetypes, each with a signature ability and a different way to break the swarm. Swipe the roster.
Speedrunner
Frame-perfect. Overclock burst for the clutch.
Lurker
Silent. Shadow Focus stacks crit and dodge.
Banhammer
Radial slam that shoves the spam away.
Threadlord
Replies land like combos. Eleven, actually.
Streamer
Hype Burst plus a shield. Like and subscribe.
Hoarder
Loot-magnet tank. Keeps everything, drops nothing.
Troll
Chaos Spike glass cannon. High risk, high lols.
Kovu the Mystic
A rare bonus encounter. You will know it when you see it.
The loop
You move. The keyboard fires itself.
It is an auto-shooter, so your job is positioning. Weave the swarm, dodge contact damage, and let the keys do the talking. Kills drop Data Cubes and Crypto, level-ups let you draft new abilities and stats on the fly, and a shaky opening minute becomes a screen-clearing engine of pure spite by the end of the run.
Meta-progression
Bank the grind. Mock the gacha.
Between runs you spend on cosmetics and bank permanent progress across eight stats. The economy is cosmetic-first on purpose: it makes fun of gacha instead of being it. Climb a rarity ladder of joke titles from Lurker all the way to Supreme Keyboard Warrior, with stops like Professional Doomscroller, Quote-Tweet Assassin, and Touch-Grass Refusenik along the way.
- Rage
- Zoom
- Grit
- Magnet
- WPM
- Ping
- Focus
- Shield
The grind, literally
Survive The Hustle.
The final lands trade the sunlight for fluorescent dread: networking tables, job boards, HR-advice kiosks, and an open-mic podium nobody asked for. More than thirty-five internet-culture enemy types escalate across the run, every fifth stage ends in a named boss, and the road runs all the way to a stage-30 title fight. Built in SpriteKit, made for iOS.
Enemies of the internet
Thirty-five flavors of bad replies.
A sampling of who shows up to the fight. Each one is a piece of the timeline you wish you could mute.
Six bosses, one title
Out-type the discourse.
A named boss waits every fifth stage. Each one is an archetype you already follow.
SMO-3
Weaponizes the group chat. Brings backup you were not supposed to see.
Finance Bro
Calls his losses tuition. Will absolutely tell you about his portfolio.
Boatfluencer
Checks the lighting before every swing. The content always comes first.
Airsoft Guy
Narrates his own highlight reel mid-fight. It is technically tactical.
The Chad
Treats attention as a stat and has maxed it. Unbothered. Moisturized.
Keyboard Warrior
Lives for the last word. The title fight. There is only room for one.
Coming Soon · iOS
The internet is not going to defend itself.
Keyboard Warrior is coming to iPhone and iPad. Wade into the swarm, draft your build, and out-type your way to Supreme Keyboard Warrior. Want a nudge the moment it goes live?
A RoxyKovu game. Built in SpriteKit for iOS.